About the song

“That’s the Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be” stands as a defining piece in Carly Simon’s career, marking her emergence as a formidable singer-songwriter in the early 1970s. Released as the lead single from her debut album “Carly Simon” in 1971, the song is a poignant exploration of societal expectations and personal disillusionment, penned by Simon’s friend and collaborator, Jacob Brackman, with music composed by Simon herself.

The song’s lyrical depth and melodic sophistication immediately set it apart. With its semiclassical melody, reminiscent of Gabriel Fauré’s style, “That’s the Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be” delves into complex themes of relationships and marriage. Simon’s introspective lyrics capture the ambivalence and uncertainties faced by individuals navigating the pressures of societal norms and personal desires. Touching upon themes such as parental influence, friends’ unhappiness, and the conflict between independence and commitment, the song struck a chord with audiences, resonating deeply during an era marked by cultural shifts and changing attitudes towards marriage and family.

Upon its release, “That’s the Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be” achieved notable success, peaking at No. 10 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart and No. 6 on the Billboard Adult Contemporary chart. Its impact was further recognized with a Grammy nomination for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, alongside Simon’s win for Best New Artist at the 14th Annual Grammy Awards in 1972. The song’s popularity not only solidified Simon’s place in the music industry but also propelled her into the spotlight as a distinctive voice in folk and pop music.

Over the years, the song has remained a cornerstone of Carly Simon’s repertoire, frequently included in compilations and retrospectives of her career. It has been featured in collections such as “The Best of Carly Simon” (1975), “Clouds in My Coffee” (1995), and “Anthology” (2002), among others, showcasing its enduring relevance and enduring appeal to new generations of listeners.

Although no official music video exists, a filmed performance for PBS’s “The Great American Dream Machine” and a televised rendition at the Schaefer Music Festival in Central Park have preserved the song’s live interpretations. These performances not only captured Simon’s emotive delivery but also highlighted her ability to connect intimately with her audience through storytelling and music.

In conclusion, “That’s the Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be” remains a timeless reflection on the complexities of human relationships, delivered with Carly Simon’s trademark blend of introspection and melody. Its legacy continues to shine brightly in the landscape of contemporary music, a testament to Simon’s artistry and enduring impact on the singer-songwriter genre.

Video

Lyrics

My father sits at night with no lights on
His cigarette glows in the dark.
The living room is still;
I walk by, no remark.
I tiptoe past the master bedroom where
My mother reads her magazines.
I hear her call sweet dreams,
But I forgot how to dream.

But you say it’s time we moved in together
And raised a family of our own, you and me –
Well, that’s the way I’ve always heard it should be:
You want to marry me, we’ll marry.

My friends from college they’re all married now;
They have their houses and their lawns.
They have their silent noons,
Tearful nights, angry dawns.
Their children hate them for the things they’re not;
They hate themselves for what they are-
And yet they drink, they laugh,
Close the wound, hide the scar.

But you say it’s time we moved in together
And raised a family of our own, you and me –
Well, that’s the way I’ve always heard it should be:
You want to marry me, we’ll marry.

You say we can keep our love alive
Babe – all I know is what I see –
The couples cling and claw
And drown in love’s debris.
You say we’ll soar like two birds through the clouds,
But soon you’ll cage me on your shelf –
I’ll never learn to be just me first
By myself.

Well O.K., it’s time we moved in together
And raised a family of our own, you and me –
Well, that’s the way I’ve always heard it should be,
You want to marry me, we’ll marry,
We’ll marry.

By Tam Le

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